argument with a microwave

Microwave eh? Oh yer nothin tae me pal, absolutely nothin. What dae ye think yer playin at eh? Aw this defrostin an cookin. Yer nae even gid at cookin anythin, yer absolutely rubbish. I cannie believe that ave had ye fer so long. Ma god... ye dae ma absolute tits in. I hate you and a hate yer kind. I prefer a nice oven. Ye know a normal oven that cooks things aw the way through? No ae any aw this, futuristic microwave kind aw shite, that ae get aff aw you. What's whit that ding, look, what's whit that. Ding. Ding. That's aw a hear everyday, ding, ding, ding. Am sick ae it, am sick ae you and am sick of, awch, that ding...ding.